the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Randomize