Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
