4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
