The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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