I just made out with a guy for $7.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
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