i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
