I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize