i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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