Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You pole danced in your parka.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
