Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
