the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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