for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Randomize
