it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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