i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
