I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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