just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
