Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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