i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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