I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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