Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
