And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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