i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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