I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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