im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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