I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I need moral support for this bender
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
