I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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