I wish my penis had an off switch
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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