I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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