her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
