escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
