Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
They are going to name an STD after you.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
