Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
