u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize