so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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