I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Pooping to opera.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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