do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize