Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Randomize
