True but thats because hes a fetus.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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