That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
