so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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