when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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