yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
