Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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