**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize