Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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