I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
