At least make sure they are 18
Why
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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