the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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