I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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