OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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