I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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