Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
