Kiss
Puke
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
