i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
