The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
