some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
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