It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize