Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
