I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
