Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
