she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
